You Don’t Need More People Flattering You, You Need A “No” Person In Your Life!

1 Thessalonians 2:4 “But as we were allowed of God to be put in trust with the gospel, even so we speak; not as pleasing men, but God, which trieth our hearts.”

1 Thessalonians 2:5 “For neither at any time used we flattering words, as ye know, nor a cloke of covetousness; God is witness:”

You don’t need a “man pleaser” in your life telling you “yes” all the time just because they know that’s what you want to hear… no, you need a person that tells you “no’! So do and have had I!

We are in a generation that has not grown up hearing “no”… when “no” is often exactly what we need especially as we all “prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love”

King David had a son called Adonijah who wasn’t told “no” growing up… the Bible says of his relationship to his dad in 1 Kings 1 that “his father had not displeased him at any time in saying, Why hast thou done so?”

He literally was never told no! Because his dad knew it would up “displease” him. Same could probably be said of us yeah?

And so Adonijah grew up without “no”. And when he tried making himself king, because he never got told no, he’d take whatever he wanted … and he intentionally surrounded himself with “yes” men. We are told there were only a couple specific people he avoided and didn’t include in his circle or celebrations because he knew they were “no” men to his sin.

Why did his dad never tell him no? Well, same reason many parents these days don’t. David had made some exceptions for himself in that he indulged himself in things that God did not permit… like multiple wives.

Likewise today, many parents won’t tell off their children because they have guilt over what they have done or do, and thus have no authority to say “no” to what they allow for themselves. Compensating elsewhere for compromises made is quite common… as Jesus said “judge not, lest ye be judged”. If you don’t obey God’s word and you’re requiring it of someone else what you have neglected yourself, you’re in for some swift judgment aren’t you “well, you do it! how can you tell me no?”

… End result, and for whatever reason, David raised a spoilt brat for a son that didn’t hear or want to hear “no”. Even when king Solomon showed him mercy in sparing his life, he still did not take “no” for an answer… and not being able to take “no” eventually cost him his life. The Bible does not say in vain in Proverbs “Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.” That seems a bit alien to modern parenting doesn’t it, but if Adonijah had been corrected with some “no” when he was young, he probably wouldn’t have tempted and advanced audaciously past God’s grace and mercy like he did later on.

… But before we judge Adonijah too harshly, we can look from his example to our own lives. Are we any different? Do we have anyone in our life who tells us no based on God’s word? And is such a one received by us? We usually make “no” people our enemy don’t we.

“No” does us so much good growing up. If we are raised and live without “no” we can get a very warped idea of who we are, where we are at and who God is. A child that is never told “no” will get the wrong view of God, and then get to thinking that when God says no, that’s like an alien word to them and they think God’s no doesn’t really mean “NO”.

God’s “no” means “no”… make “no” mistake! When Jesus said “except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish”… that’s not like calling your dog the hundredth time hoping your beseeching request will eventually coincide with his return somewhere near enough for you to collar him and we’ll call that “obedience”… no God really does mean what he says.

… But there’s a reason why many of us don’t have a “no” person in our life. And that’s because of how we take being told “no” usually. The Bible says early in Proverbs “A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels”. If you don’t have God’s wisdom, you see “no” as your enemy. But God’s wisdom teaches us to listen and to receive what we need to hear, so we can change course, so we can choose life, so we can turn from our wicked way, and live.

So we really need to get over the childish responses to NO, because when adults still behave like children that’s not a pretty sight is it.

“No” teaches us that we are not always right. And it corrects us when we are not. If God’s word never has been held up as a big fat “no” in neon lights before your eyes, odds are you sincerely think everything you think, say and do is right. When you never have been told no, how would you know that you are ever wrong, hence “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes” …

“No” can make such a big difference to how our life goes! You look at David and his famous sin with Bathsheba. When he saw and enquired after the beautiful woman he saw bathing on the roof… he really needed one of his servants to say… what are you doing interested in that woman? Why are you calling for a married woman? Why are you spending time with her? Why is she going into your room David? How about… No, I will not get her for you king. Go and get her yourself I won’t be helping you out in this sin. …But David had a lot of “yes” men around him, because he was king.

But they weren’t the people David needed or respected in the end. In fact, David’s one “no” person in his life was a guy called Nathan, who exposed David’s sin… and David thought so highly of him, because as David grew in the Lord, he knew he needed someone who put pleasing God higher than pleasing him… he knew he needed servants that served God before they served him… he knew he needed to be told “no” when he needed to be told “no”.

Do you have a Nathan in your life? Someone faithful with God’s word to “Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine.” David thought so highly of Nathan he named one of his sons after him, and also sent for Nathan when Solomon was born for naming him.

These days, right now in 2026, if there’s a place you should hear “no”, it should be from the pulpit of your church. But sadly that’s where “yes” men seemingly aggregate in greatest proliferance and preponderance. Most churches, especially popular ones, are full of people who are the opposite of “no”… they instead flatter you with a million yes’es!

Churches today are full of “yes” men. A “yes” man can not and never should be in leadership or influence, as Paul wrote “for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.”

And pastors and preachers who should be preaching “no” to oh so many things that are wrong… things which need to be “set in order” as Paul wrote Titus… instead nowdays we have churches marketed specifically to our depraved human nature, they know what you want to hear and they give you it, they tell you how good you are when you’re being wicked, and how right you are when you’re totally in the wrong… they’ll “yes” you all the way to a devil’s hell.

You know how Absalom, brother of Adonijah, thick as thieves weren’t they… but you know how he took the throne over from David? Simply by telling people “yes” and how right they were and everyone else is wrong”! That’s how effective and lethal a “yes” man can be. Absalom turned a nation from their king to himself with a bit of man pleasing and “yes”es.

He would tell the men of Judah “thy matters are good and right”… yes he’d make a great politician these days too. And he won their hearts with such a basic strategy! But oh so effective. Politicians these days, with their eyes on power, as Absalom was, they know how exalt themselves as Absalom did off the back of telling you what you want to hear, and lending their listening and compassionate ear to you, making you feel so good with their “yes”es convincing you they care about you, when all they want is your vote to make them go higher while you get left in their dust. It’s not much different in many churches, as people in ministry try to climb the ladder through being nice, rather than godly.

You need a “no” person. You need “no” when you are in sin. You need “no” when you’re even thinking about sin! You need someone in your life that says “no” to the devil working in your life!… you need someone who loves you enough to say “no” to you going to hell.

From the verses quoted from 1 Thessalonians at the start, the apostle Paul did not use flattery and flowery empty words and pretentious love to win people to Christ. Because none of us need to be surrounded by people telling you how good you are when you’re not, how you are so special when you’re just like everyone else, how you are so holy when your life is anything but, how you are so worthy when none of us are worthy… everything you want to hear… while they lead you to destruction.

I know this is more “negative Nelly” territory, but did you know that all of God’s prophets were known by what they were against? God’s prophets all through the Old Testament were the “no” people. Jeremiah when dealing with a false prophet called Hananiah in Jeremiah 28:8 said “The prophets that have been before me and before thee of old prophesied both against many countries, and against great kingdoms, of war, and of evil, and of pestilence.”

Man they were against everything! Enoch preached a very simple sermon as Noah’s flood drew nigh, and man, he was against everything too. He was “no” to this and “no” to that… and the Bible says he walked with God, and before God translated him “he had this testimony, that he pleased God”. God’s been in the translating business since before the flood!

Yes there is a godly balance to all this. I’m not talking about negativity for negativity’s sake. But the modern church is running a flattery scam, they’re going to scam everything God is and has done for your and rob your whole life with their flowery fake words. When we need “no”, we need “no”! And oftentimes we need more no’s than yes’es lets be honest. No is actually a positive too, thank God he says no to us when we are going the wrong direction. There were a lot of “no”s before Samuel finally found the son of Jesse whom God had chosen to be king.

Change your attitude to that “no” person GOD, remember him?, that he placed in your life. The one with the Bible that is. Flattering words will make you fall. Ahab was a king who surrounded himself with flattering words from flattering prophets, and the one man who told him no he hated and imprisoned. Jesus said in Luke 6:26 “Woe unto you, when all men shall speak well of you! for so did their fathers to the false prophets.” See, the false prophets were the “yes” men and the prophets of God like Jeremiah were the men that would tell you no.

… But Jeremiah’s “no” message would’ve saved the nation from destruction. Marginalizing and demonizing the person that tells you “no” is a really bad mistake to make for your soul, thank God he tells us no as often as we need it, thank God for the people in our live who risk our wrath, who risk “displeasing” us to tell us the truth. In Christ you will find your yea and amen, but there’s a whole lot of “no” that we need to keep us straight and narrow… which is the way of life.

Blog Absalom Adonijah Bible Christian Church David Faith Flatter Flattery God Jesus Nathan No Solomon Yes