Attention faithful readers!!! Hello and welcome to my final blog for 2023.

The sun has risen in clear skies, and a perfect day is in store. The fruit on our apricot trees are turning colour, it’s nearly time.

And it’s taken them time! It’s been a whole year since we last had apricots on our trees. Fruit takes time! God producing spiritual fruit in our Christian walk can take time also.

I feel like I’ve got some bare branches! But the Bible says in James 5:7 “Be patient therefore, brethren, unto the coming of the Lord. Behold, the husbandman waiteth for the precious fruit of the earth, and hath long patience for it, until he receive the early and latter rain.” Anyone who grows fruit must have patience.

The book of James starts by talking about patience… and ends by talking about patience. Because the Christian life involves patience “and let us run with patience the race that is set before us”.

And it also talks about the role of wisdom in patience. Because understanding who God is, what he’s said, what’s he doing, what the goal is, what the whole point of being a Christian… or at least having an idea… can really help us mentally and emotionally cope with what we are going through.

I don’t like having to be patient! And yet “let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” Patience is exercised when we “want” something. I’ve seen many people get what they want and they are still not complete. So what completes us? It’s a bit more than simply getting what we “want”. And we might want and need good things, and God knows about them, and he wants to give them to us… but he actually gives good and perfect gifts, and often there is the perfect work of patience involved in receiving them.

Maybe this year has helped me see, albeit unwillingly, what God said to Abraham in Genesis 15:1 “After these things the word of the Lord came unto Abram in a vision, saying, Fear not, Abram: I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward.” God is my great reward. But can I honestly say that? Do I honestly feel that? Is he enough if I never had anything else?

God has changed my thinking a bit about things this year. Like marriage, and what marriage means and how marriage is truly fulfilled. A lot of people want to be married just because they don’t want to be alone or have physical and emotional needs. In many cases it’s a self serving and selfish reason. And that’s not necessarily wrong, and companionship is something every human being needs. But I can see more how that that it is “in Christ” that marriage is truly fulfilled.

Notice that phrase “after these things” from Genesis 15:1. And apply it to my year. After these things did or do I see God, am I thankful to him, am I thankful that he’s dealt with my as a father, even if I have been his rebellious child? And we can be consumed with what we don’t have, rather than being thankful for the amazing things that we do have.

How do I measure this year in terms of success? After all, I didn’t get what I want. But I also got more than I bargained for. We tend to think of the fruit of the Spirit and Christian progress in the wrong terms… because what is the fruit of the Spirit? “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” I may have not got the things I wanted, but I may have got a bit more of these… so maybe this year was a success. Maybe this little Pilgrim progressed.

There are people who got ahead again this year. They got promoted, they achieved a lot, and by human and even religious metrics, in our mind, they are succeeding. But did it mean they had fruit? Maybe they did, maybe they don’t. A lot of people get what they want without God involved. After all, there are many people who are married, who do have someone in their lives… but is it fruitful? A lot of people have what I would think I want, and yet they are totally unfulfilled and unfruitful in it. Proverbs 15:17 “Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.”

Consider these verses…

Psalm 145:14 “The Lord upholdeth all that fall, and raiseth up all those that be bowed down.”

Psalm 145:15 “The eyes of all wait upon thee; and thou givest them their meat in due season.”

Psalm 145:16 “Thou openest thine hand, and satisfiest the desire of every living thing.”

I read these verses this morning. I’ve need some raising up, because I have been bowed down. Life has been relentlessly pressing me downwards. Has life ever bowed you down, and you’re now bent out of shape? You’ve stayed down! “And, behold, there was a woman which had a spirit of infirmity eighteen years, and was bowed together, and could in no wise lift up herself.” There are things we cannot lift ourselves out of. All the self help and improvement and new ways of thinking about yourself cannot do for us what Jesus Christ himself can only do.

I’m in a position where I can only wait upon God. I feel like God put something good in my heart, and I tried to fulfill it in some way, I tried to answer the call… and failed. Now I > really < have to trust him. This year, the season may have changed, the brook may have dried up, I may have “dwelt here long enough”… but my time was not yet. God’s hand didn’t necessarily open to me in the way I wanted, and I was looking to his hand wondering why it didn’t open… but the promise still stands, and though time is ticking, he knows my timing.

This is the fifth and final part of my end of year review. Well it’s gotta be, seeing as it’s the last day of the year! These five blogs haven’t been like anything I’ve done before on here. I hope you’ve got something out of them, something to take courage from for your own life! You’re not alone in your struggles, battles, worries, doubts. You’re not alone in questions, deep searching questions of God and his purpose for your life which seemingly have no answer, and you couldn’t truly convey to anyone else. Job found no answer in his friends, but he did find it in God.

I can’t say with the turning of the year that I’m just going to leave 2023 behind, because it doesn’t’ work like that, but hopefully this year and the experiences in them will count for something in my life. This year can be a launching pad for me “forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” What things to forget? Well there are both things to forget and things to remember in the Bible, so we have to get them right!

Yesterday I was helping my brother do some cleaning, a bit like a spring cleaning, and we encountered a lot of dust. … And when you do a clean out you often find stuff you didn’t expect to find… stuff you had forgotten about.

When king Josiah ordered the repairing of the house of God, I’m sure a lot of dust had gathered also. Because in all the junk and clutter, the priest Hilkiah re-discovered something, something that had been gathering a lot of dust in the past years… “And Hilkiah the high priest said unto Shaphan the scribe, I have found the book of the law in the house of the Lord. And Hilkiah gave the book to Shaphan, and he read it.”

Maybe your book has been gathering dust! Maybe you need to dust it off, maybe that’s your big step, maybe even mine. Because I’ve struggled in reading the Bible many days this year, and sometimes I’m so discouraged I don’t know where to turn to. But maybe what you need to find is not something new, maybe it’s something abandoned long ago. Maybe you need to redig some old wells, maybe you just need God to “Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.” We can tend so much to be victims of circumstance, how my circumstances are going dictates how I feel and behave. Maybe the solution isn’t everything around you changing, maybe it’s God changing something in you.

If say to God “don’t forget me God!”… maybe it’s not God who is forgetful, maybe I have forgotten him. Don’t forget God. God warned Israel repeatedly by the mouth of his servant Moses not to forget him, because it was bound to happen… and did.

As I said, there’s things to remember and things to forget. In Genesis, Joseph remembered and Joseph also forgot. There are some things and some people from this year that I will never forget, who God used in one way or another to help shape the man I would hope to be. Never forget the people who truly love you, never forget the people that God used to make you.

In this blog, I hope to be able to tie everything discussed in these series together “let us hear the conclusion of the matter” style… but I’m honestly not sure how successful I will be at that.

In my most recent blog, I talked a little bit about feeling forgotten in the context of the butler forgetting Joseph. After I had submitted that blog, and in the hours before writing this one, I had another thought from that part of Joseph’s story which had never crossed my mind. And it related very strongly to me. Here it is.

So we know Joseph is in prison when he interprets the butler’s dream. At this time, they’re both in jail together. Misery loves company! No, but seriously, they’re in the same position wanting the same thing, both would like to get out! One night the butler has a dream, Joseph interprets it, and Joseph has good news for this guy… in 3 days you’re getting out! … That’s great news!

… for the butler. But where’s Joseph’s good news? How’s the gospel going for him?

We should be happy to see God bless other people. And Joseph was. But being happy for people when you’ve got “nothing to be happy about”… that’s different level Christianity. … No doubt it was a very happy day for the butler (He didn’t have to wait for long!) when he was released from jail and restored to his original position, which was quite a good one.

And yes, we know though Joseph had asked him to remember him, the butler forgot him. One guy got ahead, one guy was left for dead. One guy had moved forward in his life, one guy seemingly had not.

We all have dreams for our lives, things we would like to have, things that we hope God would do for us and make happen… like maybe you really want to get married to a godly spouse and that’s your dream. The butler had a dream, and three days later it was fulfilled. But now think about Joseph… because remember, he had had a dream also! Many years back God had given Joseph a dream, a vision for his life, and that was as far away and the most distant of stars in his galaxy. The best part of his life and no closer to that dream being realized… but for the butler? 3 days.

The butler had his dream LONG after Joseph had his, yet the butler’s was fulfilled first. Is that fair? Isn’t that cutting the line? Yet somehow it didn’t sour Joseph… but if I were him, I would got a little cranky with God. I’d feel entitled seeing as I waited longer for it to happen.  And I can easily picture myself saying to God “why do good things happen to everybody else”? Why him before me? Back of the line and wait your turn bud!

Do you ever feel like other people are getting their dreams and you aren’t? Boy that’s tough. Man there’s some real hard questions that life will cause us all to ask of God. Because it’s hard not to get envious, and then warped by bitterness when God seems to be blessing others and not me. I remember John 5, when Jesus passed by a guy who had been 38! years laid up in a bed by the pool of Bethesda.

38 years! And when Jesus asks him “wilt thou be made whole”… what does the man reply? He immediately starts talking about other people “while I am coming, another steppeth down before me”. Does it seem to you like everyone else gets in before you? Maybe you’ve long been waiting for a “moving of the water”… for God to do something, and what you want is good and right. But it seems like others just get ahead, and they get what you would so dearly love. You may even place higher value on what they have, but you don’t get it, while those who don’t appreciate it like you would, do. Maybe you’ve been long time a Christian and you’ve tried to honour God with your life, and others who didn’t seem to be getting promoted all the time. They’re advancing, while you’re languishing. And you feel like there’s no first shall be last… you’re just… last.

Have you’ve ever been to a Christmas buffet where you get to the food last and all the good bits are gone and you’re left with the salad or maybe dry biscuits that nobody else wants. I’m 34 now, I only recently had my birthday, and suddenly I’m an adult. I’m a man. I probably don’t look my age necessarily, I’ve always looked a bit younger than my age apparently, but suddenly all those things that are in the future that I hoped for as a child I feel like should be mine now. If not now… when?

But I’ve seen a lot of other people get what they wanted, and for the most part, I’m not that envious or jealous of them in and of itself. But when you get a bit older, you can feel like you’ve missed out, and majorly so. And then come other questions, like fiery darts of the devil! And I don’t get my shield up in time! Questions like… maybe all the best girls are already taken? Is there anyone left for me? Could God possibly preserve someone that period of time for me? It can hurt to feel like you’ve missed out, you’re last in line and the counter has closed before you got there. Am I beyond God?

God told Jeremiah to “Run ye to and fro through the streets of Jerusalem, and see now, and know, and seek in the broad places thereof, if ye can find a man…” Can you find a godly man Jeremiah? Is there anyone who fears God in this city? Maybe girls feel like this more than guys! It seems like godly girls can’t find godly guys, and godly guys can’t find godly girls. And this is not the primary application of the verse, and yet for someone seeking a spouse… where on earth can you find such a person these days?

And then maybe you’re also wondering, how can I make the connection to who has God for me? Well, there is our responsibility, but then there is what God only can do. In a world of 8 billion people and my little life, I can’t hope to find the right girl for me without assistance. And in my case, divine assistance.

Maybe you’re in the same boat, maybe you’re panicking a bit about being lonely forever. I don’t know, but my heart does go out to people who are honouring God with their lives, trying to be faithful to God and their future spouse… and God seems to have forgotten. Meanwhile people that don’t care for God, that don’t care for purity, that sleep around… yet they end up married with kids. And how is that fair?

I was greatly comforted by this sentence from Jesus’ encounter with the woman at the well in John 4 “but he must needs pass through Samaria”. How did this comfort me? Well thinking about how could I ever make the connection to the girl God has for me… the answer is Jesus Christ. See, the woman didn’t plan this meeting… but Jesus did. And I mean, if I thought I had to “qualify” for God to perform that miracle, well this woman didn’t exactly have a clean sheet. So maybe you haven’t been perfect so far, and maybe you feel you’ve already disqualified yourself from God’s blessings by your own sin. I don’t know, but I know Jesus Christ “must needs pass through Samaria”.

Yes, as a Christian there’s things we must be doing and faithful in, but don’t forget grace and mercy which we all need, and bringing something to pass is something really only God can do “Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.” That’s a comforting verse for those who think you’re failing because of you, and that maybe per chance even if God did bring the right opportunity along, you’d fail to grasp it and let it slip anyway. But look at how many times the phrase “and it came to pass” is in the Bible! We’ve got to trust God to bring “it” to pass. What’s your “it” that you are hoping for him to bring to pass?

There are many deep things in our lives that nobody else can appreciate and understand and which can’t even be articulated “Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.”

What I do know is that God knows, and God truly is who we should trust in this area of life. Because he sees the future, he’s in the tomorrow, and he looks on the heart. When we go it ourselves, thinking we know better, trusting what we see and our own judgment, our limitations as finite creatures mean we are taking many risks, which we cannot necessarily expect God to bless and bail us out of… because we presume on God and provoke him when we do so.

I was thinking how I choose versus how God chooses. And for many years I always thought well this part of my life is definitely my decision. I’m going to hold it tight. And it is. Like I can choose to obey or disobey God. I can choose to honour God in this area of life or not. I can decide if I’m going to trust God’s choice or make my own choice. But remember, man chooses very different to how God chooses, but can’t God choose better for me seeing he’s my Creator? If there’s one thing we know, it’s that we make poor choices in life. We get things wrong. Whereas I could trust God, who if he made me, then he also knows what I need to complete me. Remember in making your choice… that Samuel would’ve chosen Eliab based on how he looked… but God chose David because God saw the heart.

Maybe you’ve been so whittled down by time and disappointment that you have been reduced to thinking it’s all luck and chance and there is no hope in God “time and chance happeneth to them all.” But consider this verse taken from an amazing love story in the Bible (how appropriate!)… Ruth 2:3 “And she went, and came, and gleaned in the field after the reapers: and her hap was to light on a part of the field belonging unto Boaz, who was of the kindred of Elimelech.” When thinking about “chance” and “making things happen” and recognizing the need for the divine hand of God in these things, I thought of this verse and the words “her hap”. The word “happen” and “happening” has “hap” in it. Well you’ve been wanting something to happen! Haven’t we all!? The word “hap” means “That which comes suddenly or unexpectedly; chance; fortune; accident; casual event”. Ruth got the best husband ever, and she even didn’t plan it.  Remember, “There are many devices in a man’s heart; Nevertheless the counsel of the LORD, that shall stand.” You can have all the “devices” in the world to get your man or woman…  you could travel the globe. But you can’t make it happen, you need God’s inspiration, and his divine stroke to make it happen. So really, to go through this process subtracting God from the situation is really quite crazy.

This year I feel like I gave a bit of myself and got nothing back at times. And that’s part of being a Christian. And we can get burnt out if we don’t watch it, as we give, give, give. And we don’t give to get back, that would be a terrible motivation for any aspect of Christianity. But I thought on this verse in relation to feeling a bit spent “Cast thy bread upon the waters: for thou shalt find it after many days.” Then I remembered also, there are people who have given to me and not got back from me, and they’ve been far more faithful in that than me. They didn’t get anything back for helping me, and maybe I couldn’t ever give back, but that’s because they showed me a higher standard of love, they modelled true charity.

I want to kind of conclude this blog and this year by focusing on a person in the Bible who is very relevant to my life and a lot of my thoughts and woes from this all tie together in her story. And it’s a woman, an exceptional woman of the Bible. Truly a woman to be honoured as she is in God’s word, a woman I can learn not just one or two things from, but many things from. You ever met people in life who you just go wow.

When thinking about girls and the type of girl I’d hope God would bring in my life to marry, and when just thinking about my woes in general… I thought of the “great woman” of Shunem. We are never told her name… she’s know as the “Shunammite”. She’s not named but God knows exactly who she is. As she could be you, if you’re a woman reading this, and reading about her.

She’s found in 2 Kings 4, and she truly is a great woman. Her character is incredible, and exactly what any godly man would be looking for. I’ve always thought that girls can be the best thing ever, or the worst thing ever. A God fearing woman has no equal… and yet a Jezebel easily can excel an Ahab in terms of pure evil.

This great woman was the Proverbs 31 woman, and she had a husband! Did he know what he had? Anyway, we are told that she provided for Elisha because she perceived he was a man of God. And she was so thoughtful and caring. She told her husband we need to do more for this man, because he’s a man of God, he’s telling people God’s word, and she made a little spot for Elisha as he passed by where he could rest and refresh and recharge. She ministered to his needs in a pure Christ honouring way. And it touched Elisha’s heart. How could it not.

One day, Elisha called her to stand before him, and basically asked her “what can I do for you?” Do you want anything? Is there any way I can help you in your life for what you’ve done for me?

This was her chance!  Man, I would have had my list of demands. I was thinking of the word “promotion” and how everyone is looking to get ahead in life. And how many people, when they get ahead, as the butler did, forget all about the sacrifices made by others to get them there. But think about how many young girls get with rich or famous men, not because they love them, but because they’re looking for promotion. Think about how many people in the ministry, they’re hunting for promotion, not willing to sit in the least seat or be a door keeper in the house of God. Everyone’s trying to get ahead and get what they want in life, and they are relentlessly on it’s trail… and it’s ugly to see isn’t it.

This great woman was offered a promotion in life. Here was her chance to “level up”. Elisha even offered to speak to the king for her. … And yet the only words we find recorded that this woman said were “I dwell among mine own people.”

That is simply beyond me. That’s all she said. And Elisha didn’t know yet this woman BADLY wanted something. She was childless. Not too many godly mothers dream of not having any children. I’ve had things I’ve badly wanted in my life, and they cloud everything. Had she let not having what her heart so wanted ruin her life? Had she turned on God? We know it hadn’t. This is an unusual person we are considering. She didn’t want to be spoken of before the king. She didn’t need that or want that. She wasn’t looking for a name, that’s not why she helped Elisha. She wasn’t giving to “get”… she gave out of the kindness of her heart for the man of God. She didn’t ask Elisha for a better house or money or more followers on Instagram. There was no agenda, manipulation and deceit going on, she didn’t have an “angle” like so many people do… you know… the hidden motive behind what they’re doing. And she told Elisha simply “I dwell among mine own people.”

Could I find a woman like that? Someone truly content in God, who’s desire is truly toward God and maybe not the role that is in the spotlight getting attention, but who’s virtue and honour is what will underpin any success the man and family could ever possibly have. Remember, Balak offered Balaam promotion… and Balaam wanted more wealth and more honour. But this woman was cut from a different cloth. This woman was not desiring and fulfilled by those things at all. She was a wise woman, she knew what mattered and what the true treasure was in life. But what would fulfill us? We can seem so petty and juvenile in comparison. Could God possibly get our desires to where they are truly godly desires for our life?

And where I complain about what I don’t have what I want, yet this woman, who had no child, never said a word. But I’m pretty darn sure she would have been praying though. It was a deep godly desire, and we know this for sure from more context as her story unfolds, because later on her son that she gets from God dies. She had told Elisha, don’t lie to me about this thing, giving me a son. Don’t give me false hope. This was her heart’s desire we are dealing with, and very dear to her. And we all have some things which we hold very close to us, very dear to us.

This is a woman beyond normal women… and that’s why the Bible calls her great. How many people get that honour from God to be called great. … God knew what she wanted “Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” And she would get the desires of her heart, and imagine what she felt when Elisha called her in the second time and told her she was going to have a son. And it actually happened, because God’s word could be trusted.

You know how Elisha had found out she had no son? It wasn’t she told him. It was Elisha’s servant who found out more about her because something had to be done for her. Maybe he went and spoke to her husband. Maybe he asked her neighbours… what could we do for this woman? He found out about her to figure out what she could want. What do you think her reputation was? Worth thinking about hey. Our little lives here are being watched.

Now, I hope to tie all this together. Let’s get it straight… we are all selfish, some more than others, but we all want to get what we want. We want to get ahead in life, we don’t want to miss out, or be forgotten, or left behind. And we think we have to be selfish to do so, to ensure that doesn’t happen, to ensure our wants and needs are satisfied. And so everyone is clambering over everyone else to get ahead. And if you don’t, if you don’t get in the game, maybe the dating game, you’re going to miss out. I missed out on the dating game and so on, I wouldn’t put myself in this woman’s bracket ever, but maybe you’ve missed out and maybe you are thinking well you should have jockeyed for position more.

But this woman was not trusting in man, or any human means. It is God who exalts us in due time. I don’t need to ruin my witness to get my heart’s desire. I don’t need to be a selfish, greedy, manipulative person to make sure my life is fulfilled. How do we want to get things? Do we want to get things our way, or through God’s provision.

This is how we think… we think we need to look out for ourselves ourselves! We need to ensure we get what we deserve. But we forget God. We need to focus on obeying God and honouring God with our lives… and let him provide what we need. Rather than relentlessly pursuing what we want and ruining our lives and others to get it. You don’t need to sleep with everyone else to find the right one for you! Listen, God knows what we want. God knows what we need. If you need a spouse, he will give you one. He hasn’t forgotten you. Yes, you may be living with some barrenness in your life, as barren as this woman was for many years. But she defied evolutionary theory, she defied selfish theory, in honouring God, God honoured her.

1 Peter 5:6 “Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:”

1 Peter 5:7 “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.”

What great verses these are. I don’t need to fight, pinch, kick, steal, scream to get what I want and need. I can’t get what I need and want anyway, I’m that big a failure. I can and in my case I have to trust God with them. I don’t have to ruin other people’s lives to get what I want. I don’t have to be part of this dog eat dog world to make sure my dreams come true.

And as if this story was written just for me… I forgot that this woman of 2 Kings answers both my questions about being forgotten and missing out. Because she honoured God with her life, God made sure she didn’t fall into either case. She makes another appearance in 2 Kings 8! And it’s in the context of guess what… not being forgotten. Elisha didn’t forget this woman. God didn’t forget this woman. She left her land for seven years because Elisha told her to because a famine was coming… but when she returned she faced loss, because someone else had her house and land. Had she lost for obeying God’s word? Had God forgotten her?

No, it just so happened that as she went to the king to plead for her land back, anticipating probably him saying “you snooze you lose” “you decided to leave it’s your loss”… it just so HAP-pened that Elisha’s servant was at that same moment testifying to the same king of God’s miracle in raising her son. And she comes in and Gehazi the servant says…. That’s her! She ended up getting spoken for to the king. What a comfort this story should be. How about we just trust God and leave what only he can do to him, and really focus on who and what we are in the meantime “restore all that was hers”. She didn’t miss out, she wasn’t forgotten. God’s got so much to do to change our thinking, and may he give us all that “different spirit” where we see things differently to how this world does. There’s a Christian life far beyond our small minds.

This year, my time was not yet. Moses one day thought it was him time, but it wasn’t. It would be his time, it just wasn’t right then and there. When he returned to Egypt, it was his time, because God had opened the door, made the path evident and the way clear. Even with the advent of Jesus Christ himself… it was about timing “in due time Christ died for the ungodly.” What about us and our little lives here? Well, “in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” I thought I had paid my dues. I thought it was my time, but it wasn’t yet, maybe it got a whole lot closer “But when the time of the promise drew nigh”.

God has not forgotten you dear reader. And it does still pay to serve him and honour him, even if you feel you are sitting among the ashes. And I’m sure most of us don’t have it that bad! Job’s ending was better than his beginning… but think about it, his beginning was pretty darn good! So how could his beginning be improved upon? And yet it was. God’s doing a work that will last forever, yes it may not be easy, yes maybe you just can’t see it and you’ve tied your scarlet thread in the window hoping he’s good for his word… but he is. God bless you reader, may God guide you into all truth, and if you’re doubting he cares, or remembers, or loves you… on the authority of his infallible perfect word, he most assuredly does!

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